The Grocery Minefield and other things

Well with my weight loss back on track (well at least moving in the right direction) I have been feeling pretty good self-esteem wise for the past few days. Yesterday, I was able to comfortably wear a shirt that had not fit me in almost 3 years, but I was still forced to wear long pants since all my shorts are too big and I don't have a belt. At least they were light weight pants so it wasn't any big deal. I think it's funny that I haven't been able to wear these pants because they were a bit too snug, now it's just the opposite. :)

After the weekly movie outing it was time to do the weekend errands and this included grocery shopping. If I stop in on my own, I know what I'm after and grab it and I'm out. I have no need for 90% of the isles so I don't even venture down them. It's just all temptation and it's things that I don't need to face right now. Well with the two of us shopping, we hit every isle. I couldn't believe how hard it was to go down some of those isles and meet up again with some of my old vices/arch-enemies. It was killing me. Mainly because I was hungry, I was a little overdue for a meal and I was getting a bit tired so I was feeling like I could succumb to their siren songs once again. I stayed strong though and only but my dinners and some pickles in the cart. I've been adding in one or two every few days as sort of a treat/variety thing. They have a negligable impact on my daily calorie totals and have been the only "cheating" I've been doing.
Every trip to the grocery store has been a challenge but yesterday's was much worse than normal.

I'm not sure where this "strength" is coming from if that's what it can be called. It might be more like laziness on my part. Because I'm the only one in the house that is on this diet, there are very dangerous minefields in the kitchen, but I have not yielded to them. I've even gone to the extreme as to not even touch the containers. Seems extreme I know but a touch leads to a smell which leads to a taste that leads to the guilt. One of my all-time vices is sitting right now in my freezer less than a foot from my dinners....ice cream. No, I didn't buy it but I know when I open the door I don't even mentally acknowledge it's there. I just look for my white box and close the door.

Maybe this just my inner self proving to the outer self that there is a new sheriff in town and the old rules don't apply anymore. I know this isn't some devine light of salvation from my food demons so it's probably an intesnse fear of returning to the fatter person I used to be.

Will these demons still haunt me in the grocery store? at home? ....probably, but maybe one day I'll shake them and be rid of them for good.

In the meantime I must fight the good fight.