Undoing old programming

I had a bit of a rough time as of late (as seen in the previous post) but I've been able to get through it, finally.

What I found out was there I had an internal sabotage point buried deep in my brain that would not allow me to get below 320lbs. Why that specific weight? No clue. I had seen it happen before so I knew that something was up. The last time that I seriously tried to lose weight was about 3 years ago. I started around 350-360 and got down to 320 and got stuck. I was stuck there for so long (about a month) that I became overly frustrated and found some reason to rationalize ending the diet.

So when it happened again this time, I knew something was at work behind the scenes. What I found was that it was my own mind trying to live up to years of programming that I had been doing to myself. I had always said to myself and others that "I'll never be skinny. I'll always be big" and if you say something enough times, you believe it and it becomes law in your mind. For some reason my mind picked 320 as the place to drawn that proverbial line in the sand and conjured up every weapon it could to thwart my efforts. So, I had a good long talk with myself (meditation) and made sure that my inner psyche understood that what I was doing was for the good of my entire body and that I was not trying to hurt myself or that I didn't love myself anymore. In fact I was doing this so I would be around longer and live a healthier and hopefully much longer life.

Within about 2 days, I felt renewed with my determination to lose the weight. I could see my goal again just like I could from day 1. The cravings and binges I did the week before were gone and that fire was roaring at full blast again. Best of all....the scale started moving again. :)

Another thing I noticed was that people are finally seeing that I've lost a lot of weight. My uniform has gone down 3 sizes (almost ready for a 4th) and when I was 320, no one noticed it but it seems like the last 10 lbs made all the difference. People are stopping me every day at work and saying "What the hell happened to you? You are looking so much better." It's funny that 3 and a half months of hard work finally gets noticed in the past few days. I'm totally not used to getting compliments so this is something new for me but I also find it encouraging. It's not just myself that sees the changes, but now it's the rest of the world that sees them too.